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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
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George W. Bush |
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"And then we marched to war, war in Afghanistan and Iraq, all of whichaffected the people's confidence. That's a tough — tough hurdles to cross,when it came to our economy." —Bush, speaking in Winston-Salem, N.C., Nov. 7, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."
— Homer Simpson
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Snapple Facts |
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#179 The first lighthouse to use electricity was the Statue of Liberty in 1886.
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Yo Mama ... |
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hair is so short when she braided it they looked like stitches.
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One Liners |
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Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: Call out B-52, F-16, B-1...
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 Getting Drunk | | By: bd2son | Published: 05/13/2006 | | |  |
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Two buddies, Bob and Larry are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Larry throws up all over himself.
"Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!" Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually Larry stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time.
You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Larry says "Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too many! And he juss koudin hold hizz liquor. He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!
"His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks.."
"Oh, yeah... I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too." Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | |
More Bar Jokes...
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| Section Features
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| One Year Ago
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| Two Years Ago
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| Lookie Here!
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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Hamsters love to eat crickets.
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