Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"Our military is performing brilliantly. See, the transition from torture chambers and rape rooms and mass graves and fear of authority is a tough transition. And they're doing the good work of keeping this country stabilized as a political process unfolds." —Bush, remarks on "Tax Relief and the Economy," Iowa, April 15, 2004
 
 

Random Quote
 
I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand... I'm amphibious.
— Charles Shackleford, NC State Basketball Player.
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#149 Theodore Roosevelt was the only president blind in one eye.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Why do breasts' have nipples?
A: If they didn't, they would be pointless!
 
 

Quick Joke
 
Don't you feel like sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
 
 


Nice Try...

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 07/14/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then, we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."

"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Too Drunk To Know
  • Drunk At MickeyDs
  • A car racing mishap
  • Drunk at MickeyD's II
  • My car
  • Car ass
  • Car wash
  • Piece of shit car
  • Subject: Did you scratch the car?
  • Car Dies, Man Shoots It
  • Court Throws Out Bedroom Drunk Driving Case
  • CHP car rolls onto 101, hit by truck
  • Car wreck
  • Down at the car wash
  • Drunk Man
  • Did ya know...
  • Can you help?
  • The Car incident
  • Dancing Baby Hit by Car
  • My new car

  • More Bar Jokes...

     

    Search
     
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    herrm is first (0 replies)  
    started by herrm
    (05.02.2001 6:00:23 PM EST)

    neva been first iam the best and the next person who reads this i just fucked yur mom doggy!

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Psychiatrists Vs. Bartenders
    Ever since I was a child I've always had a fear of ...
    05.01.2009

    In Need of a Push
    A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed ...
    01.28.2009

    Beer And Walking
    A recent study found the average American walks about ...
    08.08.2008

    More Or Less?
    A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ...
    08.06.2008

    Rate This!

    3.18 Goofballs of 5
    257 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    In Need of a Push
    A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed ...
    01.28.2009

    Beer And Walking
    A recent study found the average American walks about ...
    08.08.2008

    More Or Less?
    A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ...
    08.06.2008

    Irish Lent
    An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry ...
    06.10.2008

    Two Years Ago
    New Drink
    A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "Bartender, ...
    03.21.2008

    Guy Luke's Night Out
    After a hard day logging in the northern wilderness, ...
    01.27.2008

    Working Nights
    Murphy came home plastered for the third night in a row. His wife dragged him to the window, pointing to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance.
    12.18.2007

    Impossible To Say While Drunk
    Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk.
    10.20.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Mug Shots : Celebrities Under Arrest

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    The average American will eat 35,000 cookies during his/her lifetime.