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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —Bush, reassuring us that the wartime president of the most powerful nation on earth does not think too much Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Roundtable Interview of the President by White House Press Pool," June 4, 2003 "I've got very good relations with President Mubarak and Crown Prince Abdullah and the King of Jordan, Gulf Coast countries." —Bush, confusing the Gulf Coast with the Persian Gulf Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Interview With Print Journalists," June 2, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"Guitar-groups have no future."
—EMI-manager for Beatles 1962
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Snapple Facts |
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#188 Antarctica is the driest, coldest, windiest, and highest continent on earth.
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Yo Mama ... |
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You were born out of your mother's arse 'cause her Twat was too busy.
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One Liners |
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Q: How can you tell a macho women?
A: She rolls her own tampons.
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 Paddy the Irishman | | By: PeteTogias | Published: 02/06/1999 | | |  |
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Paddy the Irishman was shipwrecked on a desert island. Unconscious for hours, he lay face down in the sandy beach, and was found in this condition by a tribe of cannibals. When he awoke, he found himself tied up in a great big cauldron, full to the brim with water, vegetables, and loads of lovely herbs and spices floating all around.
As he came to his senses, the chief cannibal grabbed him by the hair and shook him violently saying, d'ye see this spear, well I'm gonna ram this into your neck, an' kill ye, and then we're gonna eat ya'.(The chief was originally from Dublin, but had emigrated years earlier)
Paddy said nothing, and then the chief took several paces back,faced Paddy, and started to run at him with the spear out before him. As he reached Paddy, he noticed that Paddy was laughing, stopped, and said to him,'Do you realise what I just said to you'? At which Paddy was in stitches, spilling water from the
cauldron onto the sand.
'I'm gonna ram this spear into your neck and you're gonna die, an we're gonna melt you down and eat you.' So, again the chief took a run at Paddy, and again stopped a few inches short. 'Are you thick or sometin', what are
you laughin' at ? Do you not realise that you're gonna die?Again the chief took another run at Paddy and stopped short again.
'Is there something funny about this, that I don't see?' 'Yeah', says Paddy, 'every time you run at me with that spear, I keep shittin in the pot'.
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More Ethnic Jokes...
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| Title: |
e mail |
| By: |
Anonymous Goofball
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| Date: |
07.03.2000 8:35 AM EST |
your new e mail system is lousy. it does not leave room to send the e mail. go back to the old way. fr. itzkabibble@aol.com
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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In the early days of silent films, there was blatant thievery. Unscrupulous film companies would steal the film print, reshoot a scene or two, and release it as a new production. The combat this, the Biograph company put the company's trademark initials AB somewhere in every scene -- on a door, a wall, or window. Source: "Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts"
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