Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I don't bring God into my life to - to, you know, kind of be a political person." - Interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"They will pass the father-son tandem of Buddy Bell and Yogi Berra"
— Mets broadcaster Ralph Kiner
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#60 A tongue is the fastest healing part of the body.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What's the difference between an elephant and an old Italian woman?
A. About 50lbs and a black dress
 
 


Smart Dirty Old Man

By: obxbeachbumPublished: 04/10/2008
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A middle-aged woman decides to have a face-lift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," was the reply.
"I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl "How old do you think I am?"
"I guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds kind of forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.

After a couple of minutes of this she says, "Okay, okay, that's enough .... how old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands and says, "Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,...how could you possibly know that from a feel of my breasts?"

The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Dirty Sanchez
  • Dirty Old Christmas Decorations
  • Two Old Ladies
  • Dirty Shouting
  • 92 Year Old Man Fathers Child
  • The little old lady and the bet
  • Remembering The Good Old Days
  • The Old Man
  • Top ten things that sound dirty at the office but aren't
  • Woman Gets Divorce From Dirty Husband
  • Top ten things that sound dirty in law but aren't
  • Dirty Delaware
  • Why Old Lady's Buy Cars
  • Ol' Dirty Bastard
  • Old With An Attitude
  • Little Billy On Getting Older
  • The Old Neighborhood
  • The Old Mule
  • Screech's Dirty Sanchez
  • Seven Dirty Words

  • More Men / Women Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    START THE FIRST ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  

    You must register to participate in this discussion. There are no threads in this Article Forum yet. Please check back soon...

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Origina Pickup Chicks
    A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Veuve Cliquot ...
    10.01.2009

    State-Of-The-Art Watch
    A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes ...
    08.28.2009

    A Great Night In Tampa
    A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa ...
    08.27.2009

    Geography Of Women And Men
    Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
    07.25.2009

    Rate This!

    3.73 Goofballs of 5
    11 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    8 Words With Two Meanings
    1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under ...
    11.13.2008

    This One's For The Women
    He said . .. . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've ...
    11.12.2008

    Words That Have Two Meanings
    1. THINGY (thing-ee) , Female -- Any part under ...
    10.05.2008

    Here's Your Sign
    A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase ...
    10.04.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Dusty Underware
    One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, ...
    11.22.2007

    Cynical Look At Marriage
    You have two choices in life: You can stay single ...
    11.21.2007

    The Amish Daughter
    An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an ...
    11.16.2007

    The Happiest Day Of His Life
    It was the happiest day of his life ...
    11.07.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Austin Powers: International Man of...

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    Gene Simmons' tongue is over 7 inches long.