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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"Some one of my visits—one of the reasons I'm visiting here is to ask the question, you know, to people, because if there's moving too slow or people are saying one thing and the other thing is not happening, now's the time to find out."—Bush, talking about hurricane relief Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on Tornado Damage," May 13, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: 'I'm cheap.'"
— Delta Burke, Actress
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Snapple Facts |
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#219 An electric eel can release a charge powerful enough to start 50 cars.
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Yo Mama ... |
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so ugly the NHL banned her for life.
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One Liners |
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Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A: They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
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 Interchangeable Parts | | By: robnoxious | Published: 10/30/2008 | | |  |
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Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second, from Chicago , responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.."
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, DC shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable." Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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Most Recent |
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An Amazing New Discovery: Governmentium
A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named “Governmentium.” Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 225 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 313.
10.19.2009
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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Jelly Belly jelly beans were the first jelly beans in outer space when they went up with astronauts in the June 21,1983 voyage of the space shuttle Challenger (the same voyage as the first American woman in space, Sally Ride).
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