You know you're in Texas when ...
By: Robnoxious	Published: 08/03/1999
You know you're in Texas when ... you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. you can say 110 degrees without fainting. you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. you can make instant sun tea. you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly. you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car. you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window. you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. hot water now comes out of both taps. it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. you actually burn your hand opening the car door. you break a sweat the instant you step outside...at 7:30 a.m. before work. no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning. your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?. you realize that asphalt has a liquid state. It's so hot in Texas ... the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground. the potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper. farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs. It's so dry in Texas ... the cows are giving evaporated milk. the trees are whistlin' for the dogs. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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New Material (0 replies) started by wecat (02.13.2009 5:21:05 PM EST) When I first joined goofball the content was updated every night. Now it goes days with things remaining the same. Are you part time now.

living in texas (0 replies) started by lee76133 (06.24.2001 6:06:09 PM EST) Its DAMN True!!!! Wazzzzzzzzzuuuuppppppppp!!!!!!!!

princess (1 reply) started by PRINCESS22130976 (11.29.2000 9:29:44 PM EST) wher do you come up with theese things

Hot? (0 replies) started by bestwan (08.29.2000 9:13:41 PM EST) When you pop your bubble gum, dust flies out. You catch your air conditioner drip to water the plants. Most traffic tickets are written at night so the cop's pen doesn't dry out. Two or three times a week, dinner is Blue Bell ice cream. The fire department has been called out five times this month to rescue kids from cracks in the ground. Nobody comes in out of the rain...when it finally happens. Say no to drugs. And drive in the right lane.

Serving in Texas (0 replies) started by chemsol1 (07.02.2000 7:10:41 PM EST) I am currently serving in Ft. Hood, TX and I can honestly say that EVERY SINGLE STATEMENT IS TRUE!!!!! I'm just thankful that I'm not like sqs521 and have vinyl upholstery! Kool!!!!!

in Texas (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (06.27.2000 2:11:03 PM EST) Yes, these are true statements. You point is?

being a texan (0 replies) started by sgs521 (06.23.2000 1:52:02 AM EST) Being a texan, i can say that every bit of this is true, it only sucks that i DO drive a car with vinyl upholstery, and no air conditioning. nEurosis

wow (1 reply)   started by cuteandcuddlychik69 (06.21.2000 7:18:52 PM EST) i am first finally

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