|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
 Healthy Levels Of Insanity | | By: sy993588 | Published: 04/01/2004 | | |  |
|
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in" .
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party, because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard Kim".
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" 3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | |
More Top Ten Lists Jokes...
| | |
|
|
ARTICLE FORUM LIST |
|
You must register to participate in this discussion.
|
Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.
|
|
 |
Most Recent |
 |
|
 |
Darwin Awards
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the ...
10.06.2008
50 One Hit Wonders
You may not recognize these albums, but you'll probably remember the songs that made these artists famous.
08.21.2008
Dumbest Criminal
Colorado Springs: A guy walked into ...
08.11.2008
25 Reasons I Owe My Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ...
06.03.2008
|
|
|
|
| Rate This!
|
|
|
|
| Section Features
|
|
|
|
| One Year Ago
|
|
Darwin Awards
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the ...
10.06.2008
50 One Hit Wonders
You may not recognize these albums, but you'll probably remember the songs that made these artists famous.
08.21.2008
Dumbest Criminal
Colorado Springs: A guy walked into ...
08.11.2008
25 Reasons I Owe My Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ...
06.03.2008
|
|
|
|
| Two Years Ago
|
|
|
|
| Lookie Here!
|
|
|
|
|
Casino Joke |
|
| |
|
I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
Goofball Facts |
|
| |
|
A hamburger bun is called a 'bap' in England!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
