How To Be Politically Correct When Talking About Women
By: PeterTogias	Published: 06/02/1999
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN . She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT . She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE . She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED . She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED . She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES . She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION . She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER . She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE . She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE . She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION . She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY . She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT . She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE . She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT . She hasnot BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION . She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE . She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT . She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION . She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE . She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT . She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED . She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED . Shedoes not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY . She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE . She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED . She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION . She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT . She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE . She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED . She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED . She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR . She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT . Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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AT LAST (0 replies) started by italiangirl11266 (09.17.2000 3:46:40 PM EST) FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WOMEN

Well, thery're true!!! (0 replies)   started by ashamancurtis (09.16.2000 11:26:09 PM EST) Just don't try to use them in a pollitically correct office!!! Insanity is not a detriment, it's a job requirement!!!

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